Choose to do something


When I was working full time running my other business, I decided to work with a coach to see what impact they might have.  I had been getting frustrated about being so involved with the day to day of the business and wanted to move forward (or get out). It was all a bit of a vicious circle as I was so busy in the business, I couldn’t take time (or at least I thought I couldn’t) to stop and think about direction and what we wanted for the business.

It took me a while to make the decision to work with a coach, as I felt I couldn’t afford the time, and what would they know anyway about my business. Fast forward 8 years and as a coach myself, I can see the same thing happening to so many others.

I learnt from the initial coaching sessions, that everything we do (or don’t do), more or less, comes down to choice.  I chose to make the effort to see a coach.  I could have chosen not to, and carried on as I was. In choosing to see the coach, taking time out to consider what shape the business was to take, how I wanted to fit in, where I wanted to be in 5 or 10 years’ time, I opened up a whole host of possibilities.  I chose to take up some of those possibilities. I chose not to, or to ignore others.  What I hadn’t realised at the time of beginning the coaching, was that there are so many things we don’t do because we don’t know about them. We can choose not to find out, and we can choose to find out. That’s up to us.

We don’t need a coach to make us do this.  We just need an awareness.  An awareness that we are lucky enough to be able to make choices that can completely change our lives, or make little changes.  That’s our choice.  Being in a situation we don’t like and staying there, is usually because we have chosen not to do anything about it.  Most of us aren’t conscious of this decision and so feel very stuck.  Once we develop an awareness, we realise that most of the time, there are things we can do, choices we can make, to change the situation.  Most of us don’t have a choice about having to earn money, but we do have a choice about where we work and with whom. If we don’t like our job, we can look for another, retrain, or make the choice to start doing things that will make us less unhappy. It’s not necessarily easy, but we can choose to do something to improve the situation.

There are all sorts of things that people I work with say that stops them from changing things. “I’m too disorganised”, “I have a big mortgage to pay”, “there’s nothing else I can do”. It’s important then to ask, “do you have any choice in this?”.  Most of us think we are disorganised. But, if we choose to be otherwise, we can change make the effort and start getting organised (not so easy, but it can be done with focus). The big mortgage – there are choices – can you change the terms? Can you get a lodger? Can you save on other outgoings? Can you ask for a pay rise? We can choose to investigate all these and see if the mortgage become less of a burden.  Nothing else you can do? There is always something that can be done. No matter how small, things start changing if we choose to make changes.  Seems like common sense? Yes, but common sense is surprisingly uncommon.

Whatever the situation, ask yourself “what choices do I have“. Some choices may not be the easiest, but by taking on the challenge, you’ll feel a real sense of achievement, feel so much more in control and realise that by choosing to do something, that stuck feeling will slowly disappear.

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