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“We do not see things as they are….

….we see them as we are”

So much of my work as a coach comes back to this.  When clients struggle to understand the reaction of others, why relationships are difficult, why there might be disagreement at meetings, in teams. It’s so often because we are all seeings things differently.

The assumption that we all interpret things in a similar way is so mistaken.  Everything we hear, see, feel is affected by our thoughts, beliefs and values, which in turn have been created over many years of experience.  From childhood, learning from peers, adults, parents and teachers to adulthood where we surround ourselves much of the time by people who have similar beliefs, values and opinions to us.  We develop a view of the world which is very different to others’.

Our interpretation of events and conversations are so coloured by our own prejudices and bias that we very often will disregard hard facts if they don’t fit in with our own ideas and stories that we unconsciously tell ourselves.  Many studies have been carried out proving this; Claudia Cohen showed people a video of a woman speaking to her husband about her day at work.  Some were told she was a librarian, others were told she was a waitress.  Those who believed she was a waitress remembered facts consistent with her day job, and disregarded those facts that were inconsistent. The same happened for those that understood she was a librarian.  This shows us that we choose information that fits in with our expectations and assumptions, to the detriment of other facts that could perhaps be useful in giving us a clearer picture.

If we choose to do something, we can also choose to do something else. We can choose to question our tendency to see things as we are, and start looking a little further.

Through coaching, our perception of the world and of others can be challenged and we can find ways of being more open minded, which in turn opens the door to more opportunity and the possibility of doing things differently.  Giving people we might not have previously chosen an opportunity, overcoming our previous prejudice or beliefs has multiple benefits.  It is good for you, your work, those around you and the business.

 

For more information about coaching, email info@catrinmacdonnell.co.uk.

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Training as a Resilience Practitioner

Resilience is something that can be learnt

Learning how to be resilient is so important.  Whether at work or at home, we face all sorts of challenges that can get us down and make picking ourselves up again difficult.  The more techniques we have, the better chance we stand of being able to strengthen ourselves and face the world again.Coaching and training in resilience techniques

Stress, conflict, illness, lack of control. Factors that when we’re feeling resilient, don’t cause too much damage.  However, if we’re feeling less than, these factors can mean that we start missing work, getting down, losing direction.  Being able to call on techniques to build resilience mean that we can take the knocks and get back up again.

So many workplaces face problems with absenteeism and stress as we get so busy. Increasing numbers find it a challenge to manage the everyday knocks.  We start getting upset at the little things, experience difficulty with relationships and start feeling that we just can’t cope.  By spending some time learning about resilience techniques, we can find the inner strength to not let the small things get at us, and find ways of handling the bigger things with a healthier perspective.

I studied resilience techniques with the College of Wellbeing and am now a certified Resilience Practitioner. I have designed courses on resilience as well as included resilience techniques in my Managing Mantra course for confident managers. Everyone I work with as a coach and trainer, find that learning resilience techniques, and then putting them in to practise, is one of the most valuable aspects of coaching.  Once they are able to put these techniques into practise regularly, they find they can go on and share with colleagues, so that working together becomes so much more pleasurable and productive.

If you’d like to chat about coaching and training in resilience techniques, please get in touch.

 

 

 

Fear

Are you afraid of something?

“Not that I can immediately think of” many people will respond.  Yes, there are some that are afraid of spiders, birds, heights etc, but I’m thinking of a less obvious type of fear, that many of us suffer from and don’t realise it. Or if we realise it, we make sure we brush it swiftly under the carpet and get back to work.

I’m talking about fear of what people will think.  This fear is not just about big changes like changing job but something a bit more subtle.  It’s about making changes that challenge the status quo and might just elicit some response from others. This is the fear that really stops so many of us from doing so many things.  From losing weight to trying a new hobby in our spare time. At work we are fearful of the reaction of others if, as a normally quiet person, we speak out in meetings or if we change direction for our business and try out something different.

Ask yourself

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

By doing so, it can transform the way you think. Write down three things that you would do and challenge yourself to do them. How about doing it now?

Questions about coaching

Coaching Q & A

You might have got as far as thinking that working with a coach could benefit you, and you might have started doing a bit of research.   There are many coaching services on offer and so many different titles, terms and descriptions, it’s easy to be confused about what might work for you.

Here are some, hopefully, useful answers that might guide you towards choosing the coach to work with.

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