Don’t put it off any longer

Procrastination – why do we put so much energy in to it!

I have yet to meet anyone in my personal life or amongst professional coaching clients that is not a polished procrastinator in some field or other.

Whether it’s a difficult conversation with an employee or colleague, tackling those expenses or simply clearing the paperwork on your desk, procrastination seems to get in the way. As a coach, when working with someone who is feeling frustrated or stuck, procrastination is often one of the behaviours that are getting in the way.

So why do we procrastinate?

This is not an easy question to answer.  We mostly know that if we just did it – got on with it and moved on to the next task, we would rid ourselves of the internal self talk that beats us up for not doing it. We know that we waste time and head space on finding other things to do rather than the one we don’t want to.  Often, when challenged, we actually have no reason for not doing it. The not doing it, or not liking doing it has actually become a habit.

Can you break the habit?

Procrastination is actually a habit.  Something you adopt and it becomes second nature. Until you become aware of it and realise it’s not so useful and is holding you back. Like any habit, we need to change the thought process and challenge those beliefs. If you find yourself spending time ordering files on your computer or surfing the internet for information you could probably do without, in order to avoid the task you don’t like, then challenge yourself to do it. Make a rule if that helps, that you will do your expenses / call that person/face up to that difficult job at a designated time every day or week.  This, after a period of time will become the new habit.  Prepare yourself for a few slips, where you convince yourself you don’t have to do it, forgive yourself and get back on track!

Work out why you procrastinate

A coach can help identify why you are putting so much effort into avoiding this task.  Often it is due to entrenched beliefs that you have or have developed.  Careful questioning will allow you to explore this and find out there is actually little reason to avoid the task.  An example of this is speaking to colleagues or staff if there is criticism to be made.  Few people enjoy confrontation, and many have bad memories from earlier in their lives – maybe they developed a dislike because something happened, or maybe it’s as simple as their inheriting a dislike of confrontation from their parents.  Once explored and identified, it is much easier to shift the beliefs and start “just do”ing it.  It can take some practice, but after a while, you will look back and wonder why you allowed the procrastination to go on for so long!

07785 996917 email me.

confidence building

Quick tips for self confidence

How do we become confident individuals?

In my work as a coach, be it with senior executives in all sorts of organisations, managers, company directors or sole traders, no matter how successful they are, most  lack self-confidence.

Outwardly, these people often seem self-assured, with a healthy dose of self esteem. They seem to know what they’re doing and where they’re going, but as soon as they sit down , they tell me about their doubts and anxieties. They worry about what others think and many confide in me that they are “just waiting to be found out”.  Many successful people are concerned that someone will find out that they are faking it. They fret about being exposed as someone who doesn’t know anything and should never have been given the job! Read more

Self help books – Feel the Fear…and Beyond

In my journey through the charity shop self help books, I came across Susan Jeffers’ follow up to her successful “worldwide bestseller” Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.  I had read this and can’t remember that much about it to be honest.  But, I do like the title and it sort of captures the essence of the book pretty much – that instead of shying away from uncomfortable, ‘out of our comfort zone’ situations, we need to just go for it.  The sense of achievement afterwards is usually huge and that particular situation becomes just a little less fearful. Read more

The Sedona method

The Sedona Method – personal growth book reviewed

Self help books – can you do it yourself?

There are so many self help books out there.  From strategies for assertiveness to how to get the job you want and being successful, there is a book that claims to help you to do it.  As a coach who’s into self development, I decided it would be interesting to read some of them and see how effective they can be.

So, following a visit to my local Charity book shop – which has several shelves of used self help books, I set about my self help book project.  I did wonder why so many of these books are given to charity shops – some of them hardly used… is it that the happy readers have now improved their lives and relationships and have generously chosen to pass on the key to their success? Or is it that they have bought the book with all the best intentions and found it, months later on a shelf, realising they may never do anything with it, and had a clear out?!

The Sedona Method is a strategy for getting rid “of your emotional baggage and live the life you want”.  Hale Dwoskin the author, learned his craft some thirty years ago, from Lester Levenson “a man who had mastered life’s greatest challenge”. He suffered from serious health problems and the doctors had given up on him.  Instead of giving up himself, Lester focused his mind and  came across “the ultimate tool for personal growth” which was a strategy for “letting go all inner limitations”.  The Sedona Method builds on this and encourages readers to “release”  or “let go” of all negativity and all tendencies to control others.

Read more